“Independency in the Occidental Word
Guys bragging to each other about their girlfriend’s independency has been a common incident I have witnessed these days. I have never heard a woman boost about her boyfriend’s independence. I cannot really reason for the difference between the genders. May be the female is more representative of the remains of the human kind, maybe she was more durable against the changes the society imposed on the human. What I know is that the western world is supporting this mutation, raising the younger ones to be proud, strong and independent. The message is given in a subtle way through schools, movies and TV.
I think being independent is the easy way out. Building a society with individuals; who stay an individual with her mother, brother, boyfriend might produce a more efficient world devoid of distraught feelings that might hurt the present smooth run, but definitely takes us to the purgatory some of us anticipate the happening in some future of the following generations.
Choosing to be dependent might be the hardest decision one makes but which has to nevertheless, to be what she is. When the longing, the need to be dependent dies in her I think the “ultimate” reason dies also. However when she chooses dependency she should have the strength to manage the inevitable loss that will come in the form of indifference, betrayal or death. Letting go of our dependence intuitions should never be seen as strength but rather a relinquishment of or humane values. “
Now when I read what I wrote 9 years ago, I see that against my good-willed judgment I more or less embraced individualism and strength. Now I am reaping the consequences.
Strength without the will to crush what is in your way, or without the motivation to climb a human ladder is beginning of a self destruction project.
Your strength becomes a pillar to all those around you. And when that pillar starts to flake, there is a very big chance you cannot even hold yourself up.
When you are strong and independent you are thought to be invincible. If you are or even seem weak, people want to protect and put their arms around you (literally). What I horrifically discovered is weakness is used as a strategy in relationships. Weakness is a glue that holds some relationships. The party who chooses to play the weak card, usually wins. It seems that the feeling of being needed is a very big motivator.
1 yorum:
I disagree. I guess I don’t see how the feeling of being needed can be a very big motivator in any relationship or how the one playing the weak card usually wins. Perhaps they can merely be in control of the relationship for a split second before the sham becomes obvious but not to be mistaken for winning. It will eventually overwhelm and suffocate the needed one and ultimately lead to resentment, indifference and boredom. I also think the need to be dependent and being needy or weak are two very different things…but that is for another post..
Yorum Gönder