I hate emoticons

I hate emoticons. I hate those colons, semicolons, p, and parenthesis to express how we are feeling. I find them very annoying. I hate receiving electronic cards, electronic flowers, electronic anything, when I am I expectant (of anything).
However I really enjoy trying out every new application in Facebook. But I just like the application, I do not mean them to mean anything.

Dürtmeyiniz lütfen

Özellikle hava derecesinin vücüdumun derecesinin üstüne çıktığını hissettiğim şu günlerde dolmuşlara binmek taş gibi olmuş sinirlerimi iyice geriyor. Dolmuşlarda elden ele dolaşan paralar ve paraları ileriye şöföre uzatmak için omuzdan para ile kaktırmalar sıcakta hiç çekilmiyor.
Bazen aynı anda sağ ve sol omuzdan farklı basınçlı kaktırmalar olabiliyor, ben hiç bir tepki vermemeyi seçiyorum, arkamdaki kaktırmaya devam ediyor, ben de tepkisiz kalmaya devam ettikçe daha kaktırıyor , bir noktada kırılma oluyor ve parayı başka birine uzatıyor. Acaba dolmuşlarda farklı bir şekilde para ödeme olamaz mı?
kılım değil mi

HASET VE GURUR

Bu öğlen Pera müzesindeki Miro sergisine gittim. Elimde değil hoşlandığım eserler görünce ağlamaya başlıyorum, yine aynı şey oldu. Bir şekilde haset, gurur karışık bir duygu karışımı oluyor. Bunları üretebilen bir insan var olmuş olmasından kaynaklanan bir gurur ve o insanın çevresinde olamamışlığın haseti.

An Answer to Self

“Independency in the Occidental Word

Guys bragging to each other about their girlfriend’s independency has been a common incident I have witnessed these days. I have never heard a woman boost about her boyfriend’s independence. I cannot really reason for the difference between the genders. May be the female is more representative of the remains of the human kind, maybe she was more durable against the changes the society imposed on the human. What I know is that the western world is supporting this mutation, raising the younger ones to be proud, strong and independent. The message is given in a subtle way through schools, movies and TV.

I think being independent is the easy way out. Building a society with individuals; who stay an individual with her mother, brother, boyfriend might produce a more efficient world devoid of distraught feelings that might hurt the present smooth run, but definitely takes us to the purgatory some of us anticipate the happening in some future of the following generations.

Choosing to be dependent might be the hardest decision one makes but which has to nevertheless, to be what she is. When the longing, the need to be dependent dies in her I think the “ultimate” reason dies also. However when she chooses dependency she should have the strength to manage the inevitable loss that will come in the form of indifference, betrayal or death. Letting go of our dependence intuitions should never be seen as strength but rather a relinquishment of or humane values. “

Now when I read what I wrote 9 years ago, I see that against my good-willed judgment I more or less embraced individualism and strength. Now I am reaping the consequences.

Strength without the will to crush what is in your way, or without the motivation to climb a human ladder is beginning of a self destruction project.

Your strength becomes a pillar to all those around you. And when that pillar starts to flake, there is a very big chance you cannot even hold yourself up.

When you are strong and independent you are thought to be invincible. If you are or even seem weak, people want to protect and put their arms around you (literally). What I horrifically discovered is weakness is used as a strategy in relationships. Weakness is a glue that holds some relationships. The party who chooses to play the weak card, usually wins. It seems that the feeling of being needed is a very big motivator.

Öğrendiğim İki Yeni Kelime

Dün iki kelime öğrendim. Biri Almanca “einzelgänger” diğeri Sanskritçe “santosha”.

İkisinin de tam Türkçe karşılığı yok sanırım. Einzelgänger yalnizligi ile tatmin, başkaları ile olmayı sevmeyen gibi bir tercumesi var anladigim kadari ile.

Santosha ise iç tatmini demek, olduğun şu an ile tatmin olmak demek, gelecek ile ilgili arzunun olmaması ve geçmişe bir özenme olmaması, sadece içinde olduğun an ile ilgili huzur tatminiyet duymak.

Bir tanesinden çıkmak istiyorum diğerine girmek istiyorum....

Whatever Echo has done to deserve this?

Narcissus, and Pan both wasted poor Echo. It seems the alleged glass ceiling in place in past and today’s world was existent in Mythology as well. The poor nymphs were usually portrayed as a plaything for Gods or half-Gods or even mortals ( there are very influential nymphs as well , an example are the Muses, who are the mothers for all art forms). Nymphs are of Nature. There are land, wood, water Nymphs. Nymphs are usually portrayed naked since they are embodiment of nature. They are very beautiful. They are feared by humans in their sexuality and preyed upon by other deities. Contrary to mortals beliefs nymphs are actually very virtuous and think highly of their virtue as to go all the way to accept transforming into trees, springs, flowers to escape unwanted sexual advances.

I want to ponder on Echo, the poor who had no other ambition but to be a chatterbox. She was a mountain nymph. Hera could not keep track of her philandering husband Zeus/’s infidelities and chose to blame it on Echo, for keeping her from keeping an eye on her husband. Hera chose to take away from Echo her talks, Echo could only repeat the last words of an other . So when she fell in love with Narcissus, she could not express her feelings by speech, she had to wait for him to speak and then only to repeat what he said, Narcissus shunned her advances. His rejection left a very heart broken Echo, who withered away with her sorrow, and to this day, in mountains, only her voice remains, only repeating what is said.

In other versions Echo was also the love interest of Pan the God of shepherds ( Pan is apparently, also the teacher of masturbation to shepherds according to Dionysius of Sinope. Again according to Diogenes, Hermes invented masturbation and passed it on to Pan, feeling sorry for his unwanted advances towards Echo ). To flee from his advances she again withers away into only a voice.

2 Objects

There are 2 specific objects i find myself missing from my college days.

My poster -L'Homme qui marche by Giacometti

and,

my poster of Madonna by Munch. First I find myself thinking of the posters and then I find myself reminiscing of the 10 years I had them.

Otelde Yaşamak

Hayatımın sonuna kadar otellerde yaşayabilirim.

Otelde Yaşamak, kişisel eşyalardan, anılardan arınmış bir mekana uyanmak, insana her yeni gününün yeni bir hayat olabileceği umudunu veriyor.
Her günün sonunda odaya geldiğinizde sizin seçmediğiniz yatak örtüleri ile sımsıkı yapılmış yataklar ve banyoya asılmış temiz havlular ertesi gunu hayatınıza tekrar baslama fırsatınız olduğunu hatırlatıyor sanki.